Though Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane are no longer together romantically, the former couple is confronting Dane’s amyotrophic lateral sclerosis diagnosis side by side, bound by shared history, parenthood, and what Gayheart describes as a deeply rooted familial love.
As Dane’s condition has progressed, Gayheart has taken on responsibilities that reach far beyond emotional support. In addition to maintaining her own household, she has become one of his primary caregivers — coordinating medical care, advocating for insurance approval, and helping ensure he receives continuous nursing support, all while prioritizing stability for their two teenage daughters.
“Our love may not be romantic, but it’s a familial love,” Gayheart told The Cut in a deeply personal essay. “Whatever I can do or however I can show up to make this journey better for him or easier for him, I want to do that.”
Dane now requires round-the-clock nursing care, a level of support Gayheart said was not easily secured. She described repeated struggles with insurance providers who initially denied coverage for in-home nursing, forcing her to navigate appeals and resubmissions. “Eric has 24/7 nurses now,” she said, adding that the process of securing approval was exhausting. “Just figuring out the health-care system is its own thing — the health-insurance company will deny you what you’re asking for … you have to appeal, and then you have to apply again.”
One blunt exchange with an insurance representative galvanized her resolve. When denied again, Gayheart decided, “I made it my mission. I was ‘locked in,’ as the kids would say.”
After two appeals, coverage was approved. Staffing gaps remain, and Gayheart often fills in, balancing caregiving with parenting Billie, 15, and Georgia, 14.
“There was a 12-hour shift recently that I could not cover,” she said. “I could only do four hours because of all the stuff that the kids are doing.” In that moment, Gayheart reached out to two of Dane’s friends, including one who had never helped with his care before. “I thought, ‘I can’t believe I had to ask someone to do this,’” she said. “And of course, when I asked for help, they said, ‘Yeah, anything, what do you need? What’s going on?’ And they both showed up and did a wonderful job.”
Gayheart also reflected on the moment she first learned of Dane’s diagnosis. That memory remains vivid. “I was in my closet the day I heard those three letters: ALS,” she said. Dane had flown to San Francisco to see a neurologist after experiencing symptoms for nearly a year.
She said the earliest warning signs appeared during everyday family moments. “When we would have a meal with the kids, he’d say things like, ‘Something’s wrong with my hand,’” Gayheart recalled. He had difficulty using utensils. Those concerns ultimately led him to seek medical evaluation.
“When he told me that day, he just started weeping. I did too,” she said. “It didn’t feel real because he was still OK.” At the time, Gayheart was at home with their youngest daughter. She attempted to take the call privately. “I’d gone into my closet to take the call, trying to be private,” she said. Her daughter immediately sensed something was wrong.
“I tried telling her, ‘Honey, nothing. Everything’s fine,’ because I couldn’t process it,” Gayheart said.
The former couple later told their daughters about the diagnosis with guidance from therapists, prioritizing honesty and emotional support. “We wanted to have complete transparency and honesty with them,” Gayheart said. “I’m a horrible liar. You can see right through me.”
Gayheart and Dane married in 2004 and separated in 2017. Although she initially filed for divorce, the filing was later withdrawn earlier this year, just weeks before Dane publicly disclosed his diagnosis. According to the Mayo Clinic, ALS is a progressive nervous-system disease that damages nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, often leading to muscle weakness, breathing difficulties, problems with eating, and, in some cases, cognitive impairment. There is no cure, though some treatments may slow progression.
Gayheart’s account offers a rare and intimate portrait of how families adapt when illness reshapes long-standing relationships. Though their marriage has ended, she made clear that shared history and parenthood continue to define her commitment. For Gayheart, standing beside Dane through ALS is not about rekindling the past. It is about honoring the family they built, and continuing to show up, even when the path forward is uncertain.
